I have had hundreds of people say to me…

” I have tried EVERYTHING!”  This isn’t working!!!

And I am thinking…”Yeah?  Have you tried eating poop yet?”

Here is a little story to explain what I mean.

Upset client:  I just can’t seem to lose the weight!  I might as well just get liposuction or not eat at all!  I will do anything.  Pills, surgery, starvation, workout for 4 hours per day, whatever it takes!

I begin asking questions…

Me: How is that diet plan going?

Upset client:  Uhh, I can’t stand chicken anymore.

Me: Ok, what about the sirloin?

Upset client:   I don’t like red meat, I hear it is bad for you.  But I have been eating 3 of these granola bars per day.

Me: I see, what about the salad you said you would have at lunch?

Upset client:  I am very picky about my lettuce and end up throwing half of it away.

Me: How much water have you been drinking?

Upset client: I don’t like water.

Me: Ok, so what did you eat yesterday?

Upset client:  I had a rockstar calorie free energy drink in the morning, 3 slices of turkey at lunch, and for dinner I had one of those granola bars and a glass of wine.

Me: Wow, that is like 500 calories.  Is this normal?

Upset client:  Pretty much.

Me: You sound pretty tough, like you would do ANYTHING.

Upset client:  Whatever it takes!

Me: Would you eat poop?

Upset client:  EXCUSE ME?!

Me: I am serious.  You have discussed surgery, pills, starvation, working out for 4 hours per day.  Yet you would not follow a basic diet plan.  One where you get to eat actual food.  So, maybe we should try poop!  Or what about walking on nails?  Would you do that?

Upset client:  Ummm, you are weird.

Me: Ok, so we have established that you would NOT do anything and you have not even stuck to the plan yet.  How about you right everything down you eat for the next 3 days and we will begin holding you accountable to the plan and actually give it a chance to work, ok?

Moral: If you can’t honestly say to me that you would NOT eat poop or walk on a bed of nails then you will likely never achieve these grand goals you speak of.  You are simply not serious enough to do this and unfortunately you may fall for the quick fix which will at best be temporary and certainly dangerous.  I most certainly would eat poop and walk on nails for my goals, whatever it takes.  I’d even eat nails AND walk on poop!

The funny part is that it does not require the ingestion of poop or walking on nails.  You simply have to commit to solid plans, and keep to them, when they are not working just right, knowing how to adjust and fix them and not give up.  Everyone is capable of change; just not everyone is willing to pay the price.

Now if you will excuse me I have some poop to tend too.